Ever since Sammy died, I seem to go through swings. There are days when everything is fine and I can conquer the world! No task is beyond my determination!
Other days, I hardly have the energy to get out of bed and stand up. I take advantage of my better days to get as much done as I can because I know the other days will be back and I just won’t have the energy to do anything.
I’m currently sitting in bed. I have gotten up a few times to go to the bathroom today and a couple of times to eat, but then I return to bed where I just sit. I have many ideas about videos I would like to film along with everything I need to pack for our trip, but I have no energy to get up and do any of it.
In the past I have forced myself up only to find that there is nothing else to give. I just want to crawl back in bed and ignore the day. Usually I feel better the next day and can return to my usual life goals. In January 2020, I had about a full week where I really didn’t know if it was going to end. Everyday was just as bad as the day before and I wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow.
Like magic, one day I was fine! Everything was back to normal and I was happy again.
I took advantage of this time and worked on the cotter pin experiment, along with making all the soft hanks we need for the staysail. Anything and everything that needed getting done got done in a hurry because I was worried it would come back.
Today, it was back and I just sat here with ideas but no energy.
